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Booze?

Booze became a big part of my problem.  I didn’t drink much for most of my early adult life.  Open bars at business events, conventions, cocktail parties all felt like problems waiting to happen.  And they did become problems.

I was in my early 30’s, doing well, young family, beautiful home, good reputation.  In short, I had what everyone told me was “Success”.  I almost felt like life set me up.  So much so fast.  It all came with stress to be able to maintain it all and get more.  Isn’t that what our world tells us?  There is never enough.  We can always get more.  Someone else is always doing better so we better catch up to them.

I am not sure of all of the reasons I started drinking.  I simply know that when I did, I felt better.  I liked the way I felt.  So I began to seek out opportunities to drink.  It started slow, but gained momentum fast.  Before long, it was a daily thing.

I began to stash booze,  keep a bottle in my desk,  spike my coffee, work buzzed, drink on the way home.  Sound familiar?

7 comments

  1. Chaz,

    Booze isn’t my problem. I’m my problem. AA helps me keep myself out of God’s way. That’s how it work for me. Sobriety is wonderful, no?

    jon


  2. Jon…. oh ya…. sobriety is amazing! Sometimes I am grateful that I am an alcoholic just because of the great life I have having recovered from Alcohilism.

    Kinda like not minding having the fight with one’s own wife because of the quality of the make-up sex.

    Anyway…. on to another day.

    Ciao


  3. I was like you, didn’t do it early on, but when I did start it was just to ease my nerves (diabetic nerve damage). Then from that point on I was on some mix of prescribed medications and/or alcohol. That lasted for about 6 years until Feb 24, 2009. I kept asking myself what was different in my life when I was happiest (19-22’ish) compared to now. Alcohol was the biggest suspect in the room.

    It’s easy to see why I never saw it before. I didn’t give the withdraws time to heal, so I concluded that alcohol wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t until a few weeks had passed with no prescribed meds or alcohol that the answer was obvious to me.

    I’m thankful that I crave enjoying life more than I do escaping it.


  4. I feel you, Chaz. The brain functions at such a higher level when sober. It’s amazing how good life can be if we just have patience and give sobriety and recovery a chance.


    • Ya MG… the good stuff comes in time after we patiently let our sobriety do its thing.

      There are benefits immediately. But for me, the truly amazing things began to show up in time.


  5. Chaz, I really like your blog. Your candor and humility are refreshing. I am adding you to my blogroll because of all of the above, but also because many of the Adult Children of Alcoholics that I have met are also recovering alcoholics and/or addicts. I think you have some really good things to say and the comments to your posts are just as good as the posts themselves. Keep up the good work! And thanks for such a shining example of recovery and honesty.

    Lexxie!


    • Lexxie…. glad the blog is a positive experience for you. I am glad to be part of whatever bigger plan exists around us, in which we participate by passing along what was freely given to us.

      I like your blog too and find it quite honest and reflective of a sincere and vibrant journey. You sound like you are experiencing some great recovery. Thank you for passing it along to the rest of us.

      By all means, feel welcome to add me to your blogroll.

      See you on the boards,

      Ciao.

      Chaz



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