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New Chapter, new year, new blog

January 5, 2011

Well friends, I’m starting a new blog.

This one will not shut down, I am just refocusing, and I felt a fresh start was in order.  Comments will be replied to.

Please feel welcome to drop by at http://onedirectionforward.wordpress.com/

The new blog is still developing and I am not sure all of where I am going to take it.  A few things have come to light for me:

 

1. Drug and alcohol recovery is no longer my central focus. 

I can never lose sight of the fact that my alcoholism and addiction must continually be kept in realistic perspective and high priority in my life.  I continue to work the 12 steps and remain a sober member of AA.  I think my recent post about the limiting effect I have experienced in my local AA community really sums up how I am feeling.  I want so much more than what this 12 step community in my area focuses on. 

I want to continue to grow other important aspects of my life including marriage, parenting, career, management of finances, fitness, emotional health, and my spiritual pursuits of God as I understand him, specifically Jesus Christ.  Not a light switch, not “The Fellowship”, and not some nebulous, unidentified, self-designed-to-suit-me “Higher Power”.  I need to be honest with and true to what I believe.

 

2. My heart is for families and to help other men and women who have survived calamity.

This is where I feel my new focus needs to be.  My heart aches and breaks when I hear about yet another divorce, and another family ripped apart because our culture of selfishness has suggested it is OK to do so.  While I am not convinced all marriages can or will hold together, I believe what Dr. Phil states so plainly, “most people are too quick to get divorced. You shouldn’t get a divorce until you’ve turned over every stone and investigated every avenue of rehabilitation possible”.

Speaking as a man for just a moment…. men, we need to get it together.  We need to raise the bar and take our part of the responsibility for our lives, our marriages, and our families.  If calamity has struck us such as divorce, addiction, financial failure, health issues, depression, or what have you, we are not defeated.   Our spouses need husbands, our kids need dads.  A champion is simply someone who gets up again one more time than he gets knocked down.

My heart is to create a resource for those of us who have been knocked down, and don’t know if they can get back up.  We can people!  Men and Women alike!  We can! 

Our children will benefit, our communities will benefit, and our nations will benefit.  And I do not wish to sound selfish, but at the centre of it all, we will benefit.

 

3. I feel more compelled to comment than post.

While I love posting and am grateful for the lively dialogue you have all contributed to my blog, I find my posting is somewhat sparse based on my time availability.  At this stage, I feel far more compelled to read your thoughts on your blogs and reflect back with comments.  I will likely continue posting on the new blog, but for now, my greater focus will be comments and replies.

I have linked all of you who have frequented my blog and you will most certainly be hearing from my by way of post comments.  I will continue to tag to “twelve steps” so I will be in the neighbourhood.

I have few specific plans for my new blog, but who knows, I may do a similar blog with similar posts under the new domain.

4.  I am no longer the YuppieAddict.  I am Husband, Dad, Son, Friend, Neighbour, Servant.

My choice of domain name was somewhat circumstantial and relevant for a time.  It does not describe how I want to be recognized.  It has been a great 2 1/2 years on this site, with over 87,000 hits and hundreds of replies.

Well friends, I am looking forward to connecting in the new chapter.  See you on your blogs.

All the very best.  And God Bless you all.

Chaz   http://onedirectionforward.wordpress.com

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13 comments

  1. awesome! proud to see a man choose to move forward. i plan on staying connected to your blogs. thanks.


    • No problem Allan…. I am still around. I will pop up on yours.

      Ciao.

      Chaz


  2. Thank you, Chaz.

    I’m thinking of doing the same thing. I have a business blog that I want to devote most of my time.

    I’m still pondering what to do.
    I want to help people.

    I have another avenue I think I would be more effective. Chaz, I enjoyed your writing and helpful life ideas.

    Dale


    • Thanks Dale, and likewise. Thanks for taking on a subject that few will.

      See you on the blogs. If you shift blogs, fire me a note one way or other to let me know where you land.

      Thanks for the lively replies.

      Ciao.

      Chaz


  3. This is awesome. I love the evolution. Will certainly be following!


  4. Interesting. I don’t always see your posts as the logroll shows up on Google–had it set to that awhile ago, but changed it and haven’t thought to set it back–anyway, I went specifically today to look for your blog.

    I too am a Christian and my short stint with alcohol was on and off for 2 years after my divorce –just quietly drinking at home alone, but it was becoming a nightly habit, no dire consequences, no hangovers, but it scared me because of witnessing alcoholism in my family, so I tried AA and I’ve been free of that compulsion for 5 years now. Now I only go to one women’s step meeting, but I also go to a Parent’s Alanon and Coda. The interesting thing is I called a friend today and said, “Enough of this 12 step stuff–what am I doing?

    Don’t get me wrong I love the 12 steps and all the amazing tools I’ve gotten from it–I feel like the tools have helped me so much, but –I don’t want to hear drunkalogs–I don’t relate, I don’t want to hear about “what’s happening” and just getting what I call “shooting stars”—that is the spiritual wisdom of the program every now and again between all the rest. But I am very grateful for what I received from that program and as I said in my previous comment, I want to include those tools (e.g. acceptance, willingness, openness, being in the present, etc) in some workshops I am creating which will cover the things you have listed.

    Anyway, I feel that I need to look at where I’m spending my time and I really feel I need to instead of going to three meetings a week, go to a bible study—my faith is central to everything, but that has fallen to the wayside, not because I don’t desire it, but because I have not found one that I feel is in depth and authentic enough, but I realize as long as there not against God I need to make a move to something.

    I am so glad to hear what you are interested in doing—I am sad to see how little the church does to support marriages and keep them healthy—there are so many things involved, one is the lack of community—people to be supportive and accountable to and also the media, “there is something better out there.” Anyway, good luck and I’ll try to fix my home page so I’ll remember to look at your new blog.

    Blessings, Cyndi


    • Hi Cyndi…. nice to hear from you again.

      Yes, the steps are great! They are what they are and part of their effectiveness is that they do not strive to be more than what they are.

      Likewise, AA, has never been successful when it tried to be more than what it is. History records that any time it drifted from its primary purpose or moved outside of its traditions, it failed miserably. Yet this is a good thing. It keeps AA focused on what it can be, and keeps it from striving to be all things to all people.

      I believe many churches could learn something from this. In my experience, many churches try to be more things to more people than is practical. And in striving to do so, they lose track of their primary purpose.

      Then at some point, they are in danger of all the “stuff” enveloping the primary purpose and drowning it out. The primary purpose is smothered yet the organization still continues. What is the new purpose? Perpetuation of the organization itself… devoid of the primary purpose of sharing about Jesus Christ?

      Do new purposes naturally fill the void? Ego? Money? Power? Fame? or non-destructive replacement purposes like fun, socialization, other charitable endeavors?

      I feel this certainly describes at least one church I have been a part of.

      My jury is out on how church has affected marriages. Seems our track record amongst Christians and church-attenders is indistinguishable from the population at large.

      In my experience, it may be better if the church talked less and did more when it comes to marriages. And by ‘did’ or ‘do’, I mean that we simply live great marriages. Not promote it, not brag about it, not go on the speaker and seminar circuit (complete with “Resource Table”), how about just doing it and teaching two other couples on face to faces basis the same?

      Among the many things I like about AA is that it does its best to mind its own business and get down the business of what it is all about. And only what it is all about. Not everything else. And it limits the opportunities for people to make money off it.

      Yet the very limitation of AA is why I have a desire to expand my quest to other areas. AA simply does not address them… and this is a good thing. Thank God there are programs of recovery and help for these areas such as marraige.

      That seems to be where my quest is going next.

      Thanks for dropping by.

      Ciao.

      Chaz


  5. I support you wholeheartedly!


    • Hi Donna! Thanks as always. I have you book marked and look forward to continuing our dialogues. Your blog is amazing! I have learned so much from your teaching and sharing.

      The inner-child model has explained a great deal fo what has gone on inside of me. The journey continues.

      Ciao.

      Chaz


  6. Happy 2011 and congrats on your new endeavor – I look forward to checking it out!


  7. This transition brings me hope in my own journey…


  8. Awesome, Chaz! The thing I found in 12-step groups is that often the groups, themselves, became the addiction for people rather than a tool to use for growing into a new life. I’m so happy for you that you see that you are a husband, father, son, friend, neighbor and servant! As we grow into responsible and healthy relationships with others, our addicitive impulses become a much smaller piece of the identity pie. You totally rock, and I’m really looking forward to reading your new blog. Sending a big, joyful hug your way. All the best.


    • Hi Piper….

      Thats pretty much how I have been seeing it. The group, instead of being a tool or vehicle in the overall process, becomes the new object of fixation, addiction, and frankly worship.

      In all I have read in AA history, this was never what it was intended to be. Yet mankind is known to reliably and consistently morph good things into things they were never meant to be.

      Interestingly, last night as I sat in a meeting, I came to realize that there are few “old-timers” in AA whose lives I want to emulate. When I reach their ages and sobriety tenures, I sincerely hope I have become something much broader than an AA or 12-step thumper.

      Yet I will say this…. I enthusiastically continue my attendance and membership. Its time of focus has simply come to a conclusion and I am rebalancing.

      Example being, last night as I dropped my young teenage son off to soccer playoff game for which I couldn’t stay this time, and saw him trot off to the field with his team jacket that bore his and my last name on his back, the moment of elation was far bigger and greater than any AA moment I have ever had. My sense of purpose in being a Dad was far greater than the limited scope of focus I see lived by many AAs and other steppers.

      And this is just one example.

      Stop by the new blog anytime.

      I will continue to be a regular at yours.

      Ciao.

      Chaz



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