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When things work out…

April 23, 2009

Something in my life worked out extremely well this week.  A business situation.  Then I got ambushed by my old thinking.  I stepped onto the pathway of destruction.  Gladly, I found a way to step off.

super-salesman

Funny how I lost track of the fact that my self-destructive thinking didn’t apply to my successes as much as my failures.  Funny how I forgot momentarily that I needed my program of recovery to handle the ups in life as much as the downs.

With my old thinking, when my ship came in, I would sink it.  And this recent situation showed me that threads of old thinking are still woven somewhat into the fabric of my character.

I believe these negative threads are weakening, but there is still a remnant.  I know they are weakening because I caught myself before any real damage was done.

I had managed to pull off a particular achievement.  Many people said kind and affirming things.  So what was my alcoholic conclusion?  “I really am ‘the shit’ !!!  I must be because all of these people co-signed my thinking with their affirmations! Had I carried on along this pathway, I think life would have gotten really complicated.

Instead, I made a few phone calls and got to a meeting.  I quickly remembered how blessed I was to have recovered enough to achieve what I had, and how easily I could throw it all away if I started to think more highly of myself that I ought to.

Once a few others helped me get back to a sense of reasonableness and humility, I was able to feel simple joy about the achievement rather than unhealthy pride and ego.  Now I simply feel grateful.  Grateful to be part of the success, and not think I was completely the success.

Recovery is not just about damage control.  It is about handling whatever life brings next.  Incluidng the successes.

 

Ciao

Chaz

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4 comments

  1. Good for you Chaz.

    Laura 😉


  2. Excellent analysis! I’m going to use this today as I go about my work, and when I go home to my family tonight.


  3. Good post, good reminder. I tend to focus on how my program can help me through the tough stuff. Too often I forget to let it help me with the good stuff, too.

    Thanks.

    C.


  4. C…

    Funy how our programs can lead us to the Good Stuff and then we need our programs to hang onto it.



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