Emotionally paralyzedMarch 1, 2009
Ever been paralyzed by anxiety or depression? I have.
Ever been judged by others when you felt paralyzed?
Did they call you ‘lazy’? Tell you to ‘shake it off’? ‘Get over it’? Snap out of it’?
Glad to say, I have gained a lot of ground in this area. Here is something I read recently….
“One of the most destructive aspects of depression is the way it paralyzes your willpower.
In the mildest form you may simply procrastinate about doing a few odious chores. As your lack of motivation intensifies, virtually any activity appear so difficult that you become overwhelmed by the urge to do nothing.
Because you accomplish very little, you feel worse and worse.
Not only do you cut yourself off from your normal sources of stimulation and pleasure, but your lack of productivity aggravates your self-hatred, resulting in further isolation and incapacitation.
If you don’t recognize the emotional prison in which you are trapped, this situation can go on for weeks, months, oer even years”.
When I read these paragraphs, I was once again reminded I am not alone in these feeling. The self-blame and feelings of shame for having done this for so long lifted a little more. It is clearer to me that a big part of why I behaved this way was due to the medical conditions of Depression and Anxiety.
I believe that we are not responsible for our ‘disease’ (s), but we are responsible for our recovery. This responsibility of course comes only after we are aware that we have a problem. Same applies to addiction or alcoholism.
For anyone who can relate, you are not alone. You are also not without hope. Understand that your paralyzed behaviour is beyond your willpower because your willpower is paralyzed. So don’t keep feeling bad for being that way and don’t keep trying things alone, get help.
I remember the feelings of being alone. Even when someone you love is laying right beside you. Because they can’t understand. They don’t feel the vortex pulling you into depression. That to me was hell on earth.
The above quote is from a book I am reading called, “Feeling Good”, by Dr. D. Burns. It has been around forever. It is simple and it works. I have no connection with the publisher or author. I am simply another person overcoming depression and anxiety who is sharing some experience, strength and hope.
Don’t stop until you find some help. Life gets better. Mine did with help. Yours can too.