Growth at the rate of pain

January 9, 2009


A wise person once suggested to me that,

    “We grow at the rate of pain”. 

Meaning that pain is the main driving force in our personal growth.



  Another saying that I have lived and learned to be true is:

“A year of pain will teach you far more than a lifetime of comfort”

I used to hate pain, until I found myself emerging from the other side of some painful episodes in my life.  Upon doing so, I found that my outlook was different.  I took less for granted.  I appreciated more, and valued what I used to consider the “little things” in life.


Pain taught me that I was thinking and living in a ways that were not working.  Ongoing pain taught me that it was not just external circumstances that were the source of the pain in my life.  They contributed greatly, but the real pain and ongoing suffering was a result of what I did with the pain that was delivered to me.


So now, when in pain, once the initial sting has subsided, I am more prone to having some hope that the pain I am in can serve a purpose.  And that I will emerge from it at some point.  So I do not have to feel hopeless in it.  I do not have to feel like a victim.  Because actually, the pain means I am probably in training for something.


There is not a successful person on earth who did not endure pain at some point in order to get where they are at.  So if we are in pain, we are in pretty damn good company.


I know people who have been “spared” pain in their lives.  Whether by afluence, or by people who enable the dysfunction that they continue in.  This “sparing” kept them from learning what the pain would otherwise have taught them.  So they continued in their dysfunctions.  So what were they really spared?


So when pain arrives in my life now, it is not so frightening or overwhelming.  I find that if I can just keep reminding myself of that the pain is probably trying to tell me something, I can get through it and emerge better than when I started.


After all, “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”.  I have come to believe this through very real experiences.







  1. “A year of pain will teach you far more than a lifetime of comfort”

    I guess I am now a card-carrying member of the “pain club.” I hope and pray I learn something from it!

  2. Hi Chaz,
    Loved this post – I totally agree that you learn and grow from your painful experiences, and I believe that these experiences shape you as a person. After all, how can appreciate the good things that life offers if you haven’t experienced the bad things?

    All the best Chaz – look forward to reading your next post


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