People I don’t like – A Sign Post of RecoveryJanuary 6, 2009
In my recovery, a sign post of progress seems to have been the ability to learn from people I either:
· Don’t like
· Don’t trust
· Don’t relate to
There was a day when I would shut down when I felt any indication of the above. I would tune them out and hear nothing.
In early recovery, I got set up and pretty much used by a devious individual. He had betrayed me by breaking confidences, anonymity, and just plain ripping me off. He offered to help people but turned out to be doing so for his own self-fulfillment, ego, and financial gain. He was one sick dude.
I used to hate the guy. Then one day, I found myself quoting something he used to say a lot. I realized the quote was a helpful truth. I began passing the grain of truth around to others who also found it helpful.
I then realized that I could actually learn from this guy who I otherwise found completely distasteful. The ability to filter out some value from this devious taker was an amazing discovery. I think even my shear willingness to open my mind up to believing that bad people could offer good things was a growing experience. It took the edge off my propensity to resent and turned up my ability to exercise acceptance.
The crap he pulled on me and wrong he did to me, frankly are now laughable. Ya, it hurt at the time and the financial consequence left a mark. But overall, I gained from it and have moved on to be happy overall.
His life unfortunately appears to remain a disaster. He doesn’t appear to have changed much. Nobody who knows him trusts him. Sad really… for him.